Diary: Please eject before removing

It’s raining in LA. Apparently it’s raining all over California – and I’m loving it. I keep gazing out the window, like a child looking for Santa, completely starstruck. It’s heavy, too. Not like a light shower here and there, it’s a real waterfall — the sky opened and I’m Henny Penny yelling to Goosey Loosey that the sky is falling!

It’s all I’ve got to think about now. School is over for the semester and I’ve got nothing to do. It’s not that I’m not entertained, I keep busy, but my mind feels stuck, like it was going on fast-forward and someone pressed pause to get some popcorn and fell asleep waiting for it…So now I’m back in my room. The same room with the same mess that I left behind four months ago. Everything is the same, but I, myself, have changed.

For months, I worried about four things simultaneously – school work, ‘work’ work, social life (mostly whether to watch a Disney Channel movie or go to Target and spend 50 bucks on ELF makeup and cookie dough), and finally, what’s for dinner. It was like an obsession – constantly feeling like I’m missing something or I forgot an assignment and rushing around. This was more the case in the last month or so.

I wasn’t the only person, either. Most of us were on the constant grind. We tried not to let it hit us so hard, but after our last finals, our minds just sort of went blank. You know what it feels a bit like? Say our minds/brains are external hard drives and it’s in the computer doing backups and uploading and all this work… Then you unplug it suddenly stops and the warning reads: “Please eject before removing” and you plug it back in and it’s completely wiped out. Like, you know the warning is there – we know it’s gonna be a dramatic change – but we thought it would be liberating, not empty and lonely.

usb-drive-e1378933265934

I feel like I’m perhaps exaggerating a little – but for some reason, this semester has not been like the others. When I step back and see the bigger picture, I realize I have friends and relations to upkeep that I didn’t have before, and I am actually interested in the work I’m doing now – it’s not weird General Ed crap that has nothing to do with my major. From now on, it will be 95% completely writing and other English-related classes. And even I’m sitting around obsessing over my grades!

The best part about it all, is that I’m actually really happy. I may complain a bit (or a lot, depending on who’s reading this..), but I am generally excited for next semester and the adventures I’ll go on and the memories we’ll make! And see what creations I come up with in school, and the things I learn at work, and the friends I’ll meet…

Boy, life is weird sometimes, but with a pinch of sugar, it can be a real sweet ride. As long as I take the time to smell the roses, everything will be quite all right!


HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Thanks for reading!
~R

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